One thing I learned in HR: you can close your laptop, but now always your mind

There is a particular kind of tiredness that comes with senior HR roles and it isn’t always caused by the hours you work. Sometimes it comes from the decisions you carry.

You can finish a long day, close your laptop, have dinner and do everything you normally do in the evening. From the outside, the working day is over. But your mind hasn’t received the message. At 3am, you are awake.

Replaying the conversation with the CEO. Thinking about the restructuring proposal you discussed earlier that day. Wondering whether you challenged the business enough or too much. Thinking about the executive whose performance is becoming increasingly difficult to ignore. Or about the names on a succession list and what those decisions may mean for the people behind them.

That is something people outside senior HR don’t always see.

HR decisions are rarely just business decisions

A CFO can look at a cost number. A business leader can look at productivity. An organisation can decide that it needs fewer layers, different skills or a smaller workforce. HR has to understand all of those things too.

But at the same time, HR sees the other side of the spreadsheet. Capability. Succession. Leadership. Workload. Culture. Engagement. And people.

That creates a very particular tension.

You need to help the organisation make the right business decision, while understanding exactly what that decision will mean for the people involved. Sometimes you will argue for investment. Sometimes you will challenge a proposed reduction. Sometimes you will have to tell a leader that someone they value is simply not the right person for the next phase of the organisation. And sometimes you will support a decision that you know will be extremely difficult for the people affected.

None of that automatically disappears when the meeting ends.

The CHRO is not there just to support the agenda

There is another dimension to senior HR leadership that I think is often underestimated. Your job is not simply to execute the people agenda. At your best, you help shape the business agenda.

That means having a point of view. It means understanding the commercial realities well enough to challenge your colleagues. It means being able to say:

We can do this, but this is what we risk losing. Or, We may achieve the number this year, but what capability will we need to rebuild two years from now? Or sometimes simply: I don’t think we have thought this through far enough.

That requires confidence. Especially when everyone else around the table appears convinced. And it can be lonely. Because the most important contribution HR makes in an Executive Committee is not always the most popular one.

The question that follows you home

The difficult question is often not: Did I make the right decision?

Senior executives know that many decisions are made with incomplete information. There is not always a perfect answer. The harder questions are often:

Did I ask the right questions? Did I challenge enough? Did I allow myself to be influenced because everyone else seemed so certain? Did I properly consider the consequences?

Those are valuable questions. They are part of taking your responsibility seriously. But there is a point at which reflection becomes replaying. And replaying rarely produces a better answer at three o’clock in the morning.

Carrying responsibility without being consumed by it

I don’t believe the answer is to care less.

The best HR leaders I know care enormously about their organisations and their people. Nor do I believe that senior executives should somehow learn to leave every difficult thought at the office door. That is unrealistic.

The challenge is different. It is being able to carry significant responsibility without carrying every decision all the time.

To know when you have considered the evidence, challenged the assumptions and said what needed to be said. To recognise which decisions are yours and which belong to the organisation collectively. To be comfortable with the fact that leadership does not always provide certainty. And perhaps most importantly, to trust yourself. Because senior HR leadership requires judgment. And judgment develops through experience, reflection and sometimes getting things wrong.

You should still have a life

There is something else I believe strongly. Having a demanding executive role should not mean surrendering everything outside it. You should be able to sit on your sofa and actually be on your sofa. Have dinner without mentally returning to the meeting. Spend time with the people you care about. Go for a walk. Travel. Exercise. Laugh. Sleep.

And return to work with enough energy and perspective to deal with whatever comes next. That is not a lack of commitment. It is what allows you to keep doing a demanding job well.

Senior HR leaders carry an enormous amount of responsibility. The objective is not to make that responsibility disappear. It is to be able to lead with confidence, influence the decisions that matter — and still enjoy the life you have built outside the boardroom.